9/06/2008

That Glade Commercial Madness

I am not the only one who has something to say about the Glade Lady.

Vanessa supplies this comment:

Third Commercial mock-up. Fade to Mrs. Liar Liar Pant's on Fire coming home, only to enter a house filled with casually dressed friends, a husband who will not look her in the eye and an intervention specialist. They are all there to confront her about her meth habit. She claims that she has no such habit and that if she did her breath would smell bad and her teeth would be falling out. Then we see her husband pull out a an empty bag. The bag says "Glade Meth-Head Cover Up Kit". We end scene with Mrs. Pant's on fire throwing her hands up and smiling while one of her fake Glade teeth fall out.

I hate to break it to Vanessa, but there are two additional Glade Lady commercials, so he Meth Lady commercial would be number 5 or so.

I have only seen the newest two once each, so I can't say too much about them, but I can't just let them pass without comment.

In the first, the Glade Lady is doing yoga at home with friends. Someone comments on the great smell of the room. The Glade Lady claims that the scent is the smell of her yoga-induced sweat.

Or something. I have to admit that I wasn't paying attention until I realized the Glad Lady was back and by then I had missed most of it. But I got the point; the Glade Lady was trying to pretend her Glade Scented-Oil Plug In was something other than a Glade Scented-Oil Plug In.

Apparently, Glade Scented-Oil Plug Ins are an embarrassment to their owners. Just like Glade candles.

In the second new commercial, the Glade Lady is taking a bath with a Glade candle beside the tub. She gets a phone call and tells her friend she's at a spa. Her husband comes into the bathroom and interrupts the call. Her friend says "Who was that?" The Glade Lady...lies.

Of course.

Now, again I have to confess that I haven't studied this commercial as much as the original, but I think that the friend calls her on her home phone*.

The other option is that she calls her friend. This option means that she called in order to lie about being at the spa while the first option implies that she thinks her friend is unimaginably dim.

"Yeah, you called my home phone, but I had it forwarded to this spa..."

Who thought these up?

Here are some better Glade-related lies:

  1. The Glade Lady claims she bought the Glade candle, but she really stole it.
  2. The Glade Lady has a trunkload of stolen Glade candles. When her husband confonts her, she says she won a radio contest.
  3. The Glade Lady refills her Glade brand Febreeze rip off spray bottle with generic brand Febreeze rip off spray, but tells her friend it's Glade.
  4. The Glade Lady leaves her Glade Scented Oil Plug In plugged in for weeks after the oil is gone. It sets the house on fire. She blames a lightening strike and collects the insurance.
  5. The Glade Lady's husband demands that she see a counselor and deal with her compulsion to lie. She pretends to go, but spends the time sniffing Glade Spray at Kroger.

Ok, I think that's enough.

*Ok, I've seen it a few more times and I now know that it's her cell phone. I don't care. It's still ridiculous. I know the spa would have a locker for her belongings and I'm sure that the locker room would have a sign. Please turn off all cell phones before placing them in the locker. This is for the comfort of our guests. Thank you. Management.

Even made up spas with made up aromatherapy have those signs. Get with it Glade Lady.

Aren't you glad I set the record straight?

Don't you mean... Glade?

Related Posts:

The Glade Lady's Web of Lies
Dory Kelly - The Glade Lady
The Glade Lady Crosses a Line
The Glade Lady - Hot or Idiotic?

5 comments:

Ness Kinney said...

Despite the fact that I have not paid enough attention to the Glade commercials to know that there are more than two. I would have to say I have opened up a whole new market with Meth cover up kits, come on.

Anonymous said...

Sweet. I am writing a sketch about the Glade Lady for a show in Chicago. Looks like a lot of us are on the same page here! Those commercials are disturbing on a deep level.

Anonymous said...

lololol

kitchentablechat said...

In the second commercial you are talking about she is not on her home from but on her cell phone.

Anonymous said...

That Glade lady is incredibly hot. Her husband is lucky. If I was him I would gladly put up with all the lies.