The Glade Lady Crosses a Line

I am not obsessed with the Glade Lady.

I swear.

But there's a new commercial and I feel I must comment on it. You see, this time the Glade Lady takes her foolishness too far.

The Commercial:

The Glade Lady can be seen lighting a candle (I guess it's not really a candle at all, but some sort of Glade oil scent pod. I don't know the trade name, but it's not important) and then putting out some store-bought gingerbread cookies.

She invites her friends in and they comment on how good her cookies smell.

One of the cookies stands up - seriously - and says "Oh no you didn't. That smell is a candle, not us cookies!"

The friends are probably all "What the... that cookie just talked," or "Oh how magical! A talking cookie. It's like a Disney film. Or Shrek. Or Shrek 2. Or even Shrek 3"

The Glade Lady doesn't miss a beat. She grabs the cookie and bites his head off as her friends look on horrified. She then offers the remaining cookies to the friends confident that her warning will keep the other cookies silent.

The Analysis:

I think this one is meant to be a light-hearted take on the Glade Lady's compulsion to lie.

"Ah, gee, she got busted by that cute talking cookie."

The only way to make it light-hearted, though, is for the Glade Lady, the cookie and the friends to have a good laugh.

Instead, she murders the cookie.

Up to this point, those who have been brave enough to confront the Glade Lady have lived to tell about it: her friend who finds the sticker on her butt, her husband, her yoga partner. Now, the Glade Lady has put her detractors on notice: If you cross me, I will bite your head off while your family watches and I will chew it up.

Before you write this off as over analysis, I suggest you watch the commercial and focus on the friends. I think their faces are priceless. They say:

"In two minutes, I just saw a freakin' talking cookie, my friend ate said cookie and then tried to make me eat a similar cookie, a cookie which may be just alive as the first one. I don't know how many of those cookies can talk! Why am I friends with this woman? Why am I still in this kitchen? I am disgusted, but mostly I am afraid! If I make any false moves, will she eat me, too?"

I wonder what's next for the Glade Lady now that she's had a taste of blood.

Or icing.

I don't really know what flows through the veins of gingerbread men.

Related Posts:

The Glade Lady's Web of Lies

That Glade Commercial Madness
Dori Kelly - The Glade lady
The Glade Lady - Hot or Idiotic?


Archie Mck said...

Hmm, perhaps a biblical allusion to David?

Anonymous said...

Her compulsive lying is only one mental problem. She is now hallucinating too; she is the only one who hears the cookie and sees it move. This piled on her bizarre obsession with Glade products yet shame in owning them. The woman needs meds. Possibly electro convulsive therapy.

Anonymous said...

It's an effing Cookie!!!!.
You're supposed to eat it.

Plus the commercial is funny.

Anonymous said...

I wish the Glade lady would eat me!

Anonymous said...

You seam to be very obsessed with the Glade Lady. Even know that your very first sentence is
"I am not obsessed with the Glade Lady.". Its only a commercial. Mute it if you dont want to listen to it. Anyway life go on.

rdmeeker said...

It's curious to me how you found this post. Was it in fact your own obsession with the Glade Lady?

Thanks for the information, though. I was heretofore unaware that this was a commercial. I was laboring under the impression that this series of videos was a sort of how-to instructional series.

It will be hard to unlearn what I've already put into practice, but perhaps now my friends will return.

Thanks, again for your information. As you say, life go on.

Indeed it do.

Anonymous said...

I'll admit it... I'm in love with the Glade woman. Sure she's a lazy liar, but my God she is sexy. But then I'm nearly 50 so there ya go.