Showing posts with label Iraq. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Iraq. Show all posts

7/05/2012

Anfal Memorial

The following are pictures from the Anfal Memorial taken during my visit on July 5, 2012. The memorial also includes a museum which is not yet complete and a large cemetery in which are/are being buried bodies recovered from mass graves.
 20120706-004210.jpg 20120706-004219.jpg 20120706-004228.jpg 20120706-004237.jpg 20120706-004246.jpg 20120706-004253.jpg

9/11/2011

The Boy Who Waited

Tonight I went to the Grandview Theater to watch Doctor Who. This is no big deal, except that I went by myself. To a theater. By myself.

I wanted to watch the show and had no one to go with, so I had to decide between sitting and home feeling sorry for myself or going alone.

One time I went to Iraq by myself. That was a much bigger deal and sometimes I forget that, if I can do that, I can probably do most things that confront me.

The flip side of that, though, is that I was once confronted by Iraq and all that goes with that - language, culture, finding community, worshiping Jesus. Today I'm confronted by things that feel stupid. Like whether or not to go to a theater.

What I'm saying simply is that most things I do seem dull and I don't want to do dull.

I feel like I'm waiting. Between adventures in the past and adventures in the future.

I know it doesn't make sense. What I've written is vague and shallow feeling. It feels like that to me, too.

I hate to use television as metaphor (or maybe I love it), but I feel like a former companion of the Doctor. In this metaphor, the Doctor = adventure = God. I feel like I have been left behind and the adventures now continue with other people. I hate that most of all.

I'm done thinking about it for now.

3/21/2011

In Remembrance of Halabja - 2006

I wrote the following for Kurdishaspect.com.

Five years ago this month, protesters burned down the Monument of Halabja Martyrs. As an outsider, I have always found the symbolism of the burning memorial to be the height of poetry and a high point for Kurdish democracy. The message of the burning is simple: the past, present and future of Kurdistan belongs to the Kurdish people.

I was living in Sulemania at the time and I clearly remember being told, “the politicians come every year and make speeches, but they do nothing for Halabja.” After 18 years, some people had had enough. Halabja had become (and still is) a metaphor for the years under Saddam. Post-Saddam, the city and the 1988 tragedy became a symbol of victory seeming to say “Look how far we have come, Kurds. In spite of this tragedy, we have become victorious.”

The problem, of course, is that in 2006 Halabja still very much looked like the city it had been on March 17, 1988, the day after the attack. Halabja still lacked basic services and the people of Halabja felt as though they were being ignored by the Kurdish government in whom they had put their hopes for renewal. The politicians came every year to show their commitment to the people who had suffered so terribly, but the people only heard words without seeing any action.

Halabja had become caught up in the narrative of Kurdish nationalism and Kurdish nationalism is the tool that the Kurdish government uses to keep order.

There are two versions of Kurdish nationalism; one that’s based on institutions and personalities and one that’s based on culture and history. Often the lines between these two are blurred and the average person believes that the government or a politician are the as important to their culture as a song or an event, like Halabja. It happens here in the US, when we confuse party affiliation or devotion to the president with patriotism.

Governments tend to prefer this blurring even to one strictly built around themselves because it allows them to co-opt great events to further their aims. It’s a cynical view, yes, but one which certainly played out in Halabja leading up to 2006. In Halabja, politicians and leaders had co-opted the tragedy and the suffering of the city.

The Halabja tragedy was slowly taken away from the people who had suffered and was turned into a talking point. The anniversary was becoming a day for politicians to make grand speeches because the heart of every Kurd turns to Halabja on that day: people are listening on that day. A politician could say, “I am a good Kurd. I love Halabja. See me making this speech from Halabja – I really came to this poor place and I am among these poor people. I am a good Kurd.”

The shared tragedy became a political rally, no longer shared, but owned by the leadership. The memories of 1988 put in a museum and made the official artifacts for remembrance and a part of the political narrative of Kurdishness.

The only way to truly honor those that died in 1988 was to remove the spectacle of the anniversary and the only way to remove the spectacle was to burn down the memorial. The people took the memory of Halabja away from the politicians and brought it back to the people to whom it had always belonged

The lingering question, however is did it work? It should have worked. The symbolism was so clear. Politicians must have read the writing on the wall. The people must have stood up that day and continued to stand up. Right?

The unfortunate answer, though, is that it didn’t work; nothing changed.

So, who’s to blame?

Surprise, it’s not the government, or at least not the government alone. A government that had done so much in so few years in any other society would be applauded and the KRG are moving forward, albeit slowly. More importantly, the Kurdish government is democratically elected. So, corrupt or otherwise, the current government belongs to the voters.

That means that everyone is to blame and everyone forgot the message of March 16, 2006: the past, present and future of Kurdistan belongs to the Kurdish people.

One day the current protesting will end. It has to. Will the government and the people continue to work for change? That remains to be seen, but change must be made in Kurdistan, not in the burning of things this time, but by igniting the fire in the Kurdish people.

9/27/2009

The Jungle of Calais

"At dawn today, riot police moved into The Jungle and rounded up the migrants despite dozens of human rights activists who tried to block their way. They denounce the raid as a media stunt they would drive the migrants underground making them easier pray for traffickers. The Jungle of Calais might be closed, they say, but the steady flow of migrants to Northern France will continue and simply bubble up somewhere else. "
-NPR News


On September 22, French police bulldozed a makeshift village in the port city of Calais that had been set up and inhabited by immigrants. I heard the story on NPR last week and it piqued my interest.

Although I haven't had a chance to confirm it yet, I believe that this is where Aram was living before he was arrested trying to get into the UK.

The AP story is here and you can listen to the full story from NPR here.

4/10/2009

Ariving in America

I found a link to this article from the New York Times while I was browsing Michael Totten's site. It's written by an Iraqi who recently settled in the US after working as a translator for the US military.

Yesterday we took a long drive to get somewhere. My aunt is very cautious and
alert while driving through a particular neighborhood. She turns to me and says:
“Look!” I turn around and spot two empty cans of soda and, like, three empty
bags of potato chips all in a polite pile. “This is a bad neighborhood,” she
says.
I will only add that I think it's unfortunate that the US, European and Iraqi governments so severely limit the Iraqi people's freedom of movement and that more Iraqis aren't experiencing the same joys of living in a relatively free and open society.

3/23/2009

2 Great New Sites

Angie and I have started a new blog.

I know, you're thinking something like "Why in the world would those two start another blog? Don't they have 15 already? I mean don't they have better things to do?"

Well, it was Angie's idea, it's only 12 or so, and no, no we don't.

Angie came up with the idea for Seven Simple Things about a week ago. I thought it was a pretty good idea; seven simple things, one each day. Click the link and have a look around.

Let us know what you think.

Kurdish lessons have their own site.

If you're a long-time reader, you know I've done some Kurdish lessons. They're pretty popular as far as Kurdish lessons go.

I don't have much competition on the internet, really.

The lessons are migrating over time. Check out the new site, I really like it.

The Kurdish Airforce

3/16/2009

Remembering Halabja

The following article was originally posted here in August, 2008. Because March 16 is the anniversary of the attack on Halabja, I decided to post it again. It's an important event to remember as we reconsider Iraq.

On March 16, 1988, the Iraqi government attacked the kurdish city of Halabja with chemical weapons killing 5,000 people and injuring 10,000 others. As of today, it's the worst chemical attack on a civilian population in history.

This image of a man shielding a young child has become an icon in Kurdistan.

Background:

The grinding Iran-Iraq war was coming to a close in 1988 and the border city of Halabja was caught in the middle. Claiming that the Irani army was in the city, the Iraqi air force attacked.

The air force began bombing the city with conventional weapons driving the people of Halabja into their cellars. The gas used in the chemical weapons were heavier than the air, so the cellars where perhaps the worst places to hide. This is one reason why the death toll was so high.

This attack on the Kurds can be considered as part of Iraq's Anfal campaign. Anfal was the systematic genocide of the Kurdish population of northern Iraq. From 1986 to 1999 up to 200,000 Kurds were murdered by the Ba'ath regime. 4,000 villages were destroyed and 250 towns and villages were exposed to chemical weapons (see wikipedia article).

Recommended Reading:

Obviously what I've written is only a brief summary. The US Department of State published an article on their website which I highly recommend.

The Lessons of Halabja

In truth, it was probably written as propaganda during the build up to the invasion. However, that doesn't make it any less true.

Today:

Now that Saddam is gone and the Kurdish region of Iraq has autonomy, the Kurds of Halabja are still dealing with the aftermath of the gas attack. The city was made virually unlivable following the attack, but many of the survivors stayed.

In 2003, the Kurdish government erected a memorial for the attack and in 2006 an angry mob burned it down.

This to me is one of the most interesting parts of the story. 18 years after the attack the city of Halabja still had yet to receive any significant government assistance - and since 1991, that means Kurdish government assistance. On the anniversary of the attack each year, Kurdish politicians would make the trip to Halabja and make promises to the people and use the events of 1988 as a rallying cry for unity behind the government in power.

In 2006, fed up with empty promises, the people of Halabja staged a protest on the anniversary and torched the monument reclaiming their tragedy from the hands of their ineffective leaders.

Ok, that's all I have. Be sure to read the article I referenced above.

10/13/2008

Kurdish Lesson 09 - Food

Kurdish food can vary by region and even by family, so what I present below is a snapshot of the foods I enjoyed first in San Diego and later in Iraq. The families with whom we lived in California were from the Sulemania and Halabja areas which is also where I lived in Iraq. I don’t know much about Hewleri or Dohuki food let alone Kurdish food in Turkey or Iran.

Kurdish food is a blend of regional dishes with local ingredients. The dishes are often similar to what one might find in a Turkish, Lebanese or even Indian restaurant, but in Kurdistan, the dishes have their own unique flavors.

I, for one, have never had falafel better than the falafel I had in Sulemania. The same goes for Briyani.

Below, I will spell the names of the dishes and foods with latini. Remember to click here for a refresher on pronunciation.

Breakfast:
A typical Kurdish breakfast is fairly light.






























KurdishEnglish
MastYoghurt
HangwînHoney
NanBread
MozBananas
Ḧelke RonFried Egg
ÇaTea
PenîrCheese


An everyday breakfast would just be nan u mast, but the others mix in as well. Of course, no breakfast is complete without Ça.

My favorite breakfast was to mix my mast with date syrup. It was great, but I have no idea what the Kurdish word for date syrup is. Sorry.

Lunch and Dinner: Lunch and dinner foods are usually the same. We often ate lunch at the office where we had a cook. She made some really great things! (Although, some of my co-workers complained about the excessive amounts of oil!)















































KurdishEnglish
BirincRice
ZalateSalad
FasulîeBeans
KubeGround meat wrapped in rice
Brîanî
Spiced rice with anything and everything in it
KufteGround meat wrapped in wheat served in a tomato soup
Tepsî
Eggplant, zucchini, onions and potato fried with spices
Yapraẍ/ DolmeGround meat wrapped in grape leaves or stuffed in various
vegetables
ŞileTomato-based stew with one of many vegetables
ŞufteLittle spiced-meat patties (My personal favorite!)


Miscellaneous Food Names: There are many other words you’ll need to cook and eat in Kurdistan. I have tried to include those below. I have also included separate tables for fruits and vegetables.











































































KurdishEnglish
Goşt Meat
QȋmeGround meat
MirişikChicken
QalTurkey
MasȋFish
SamunBread loaves or buns
RonOil
ŞekirSugar
ArdFlour
Mast AwYogurt and water drink
DoLike Mast Aw, but when made traditionally, it’s
semi-fermented in an animal stomach
GȋpeMeat cooked in a cow's stomach
Sȇr u PȇHead and feet. Sheep’s brains and feet
KababMeat patty on a skewer
TikeMeat chunks on a skewer
GwȇsNuts
XwȇSalt


Fruits and Vegetables: The secret to Kurdish culture is this: when you are invited to dinner or visit someone, they will eventually serve you fruit. The fruit is your sign that it’s time to go.



































KurdishEnglish
SȇwApple
PirtikalOrange
HunirPomegranate
TirȇGrape
MozBanana
KişmişRaisin
QeȋsȋApricot


I don’t like vegetables all that much, so my vocabulary is slim. Sorry.































KurdishEnglish
PȋazOnion
TomateTomato
PotatePotato
BaȋinjanEggplant
ZȇtunOlives
BamȇOkra


This certainly isn’t an exhaustive list, but it’s a good start.

If you have recipes for any of these foods, please post them in the comments. I can only make rice and şile.

A view of our neighborhood store. The lady on the right makes the world's best Kube and Şufte.

A small store like this is called a dukan.



8/17/2008

Kurdish Lesson 07 - Kirkuk

I traveled to Kirkuk once in 2006. Long-time readers may remember my tale from that trip and, most certainly, this picture which caused such a stir at home.


When the A-Team (see above) decided to visit the American family in Kirkuk, we we picked up by the family's drivers, taken to a point just outside of Kirkuk, transferred to two bullet-proof vehicles and taken into the city.

I was in a separate car from the ladies. They were given bullet-proof vests, but I wasn't. I was advised not to get too close to the window and not to draw attention to myself.

I don't know anything about the layout of Kirkuk. I don't know what neighborhood the family lived in and I don't know what roads we took once we were inside Kirkuk. I peeked out the window from the safety of my seat rather than pressing my face up against the glass as I would have prefered.

The city looked just like the other cities I'd been to in Kurdistan, but it seemed sadder and poorer. I remember dirty banners hung across the road which reminded me of some long abandoned party.

At one point, our host pointed out his window, "That's where they say the prophet Daniel is buried."

I couldn't see much from my side of the car, but I wondered how dangerous it would actually be to stop and see it. I mean, it's Daniel of lion den fame. If he could make it out of the lion's den safely, why couldn't I make it out of Kirkuk safely?

We spent our weekend inside the family's home and we left the same way we came. Except, on the way out, I wore a bullet-proof vest, too.

Kirkuk is important today, not as the burial place of Daniel, but as the newest stumbling block for the Iraqi constitution.

The historically Kurdish city was not included in the no-fly zone following the first Gulf War. In fact, the Iraqi government removed their recognition of both Kirkuk and it's oil fields as part of the Kurdish region in 1974. This came following promises in 1970 to honor historical precedent.

Throughout the 1980s the Ba'ath regime of Saddam Hussein pursued a policy of arabization in much of Kurdistan, but certainly in Kirkuk. The government moved Arabs in and forced Kurds out. The city and surrounding province remained predominantly Kurdish, nonetheless.

Following the US invasion and the fall of the Ba'ath regime, Kurds who had been resettled began to return to Kirkuk. Since that time, Kirkuk has been a hotbed of in-fighting and insurgency.

The fighting is between three main Iraqi parties; Sunni, Shia and Kurd, plus a relatively small population of Turkmen. Each side wants control of the city and its vast oil reserves. At the very least, no one wants one of the other groups to gain control.

In the Kurds favor is Article 140 of the Iraqi constitution. It allows for a referendum on the status of Kirkuk. The article allows for the iof Kirkuk to decide their own future; to become part of the Kurdish region or not. There is little doubt that the majority Kurdish population will choose inclusion with the rest of the Kurdish region.

This vote was to take place in November 2007. As of August 2008, that has yet to happen.

The problem is that each ethnic group, with the exception of the Kurds, has strong regional backing. The Shia have the support of Iran, The Sunni of Saudi Arabia and the Turkomen of Turky. Each nation has pressed the Iraqi government to postpone the vote in the hopes of weakening the Kurdish region.

Although, in the case of Saudi Arabia it may have much more to do with keeping it for the Sunnis rather than weakening the Kurds. The Saudis would much prefer a strong Sunni Iraq to a strong Shia state in its place.

Up to this point, the Kurdish government has supported the Iraqi constitution. In the past month, the Kurdish bloc has walked out of parliament sessions over election laws related to the Kirkuk question. The Kurdish region is beyond a doubt the strongest and most stable region of Iraq. If the Iraqi government loses the support of the Kurds, the government collapses.

The question becomes, how long will the Kurds wait on Kirkuk? The peshmerga could take control of the city and region and hold it . This is one of the reasons that both Turkey and Iran continue to shell Northern Iraq. Claims of PKK or PJAK support is a pretext to keep armed forces on the border and, should the Kurds claim what it rightfully theirs, one can be sure that Turkey and Iran will use the same pretext to attack.

Like Halabja, there is much more to this story than I can provide. Below are some good websites to check out if you want to know more.

Kirkuk on Wikipedia
Kirkuk on GlobalSecurity
Council on Foreign Relations

8/03/2008

Kurdish Lesson 06 - Halabja

Lesson 05 was a written about 6 weeks ago and, at the end of it, I promised that the next lesson would cover Halabja.

Today, Kirkuk is arguably the most important Kurdish city to which we should be paying attention. In fact, just this week the Kurdish members of the Iraqi parliament walked out over it. Kirkuk will probably be lesson 07.

Kirkuk's prominence in Kurdish news today is directly tied to the events which led up to the tragedy of Halabja; Saddam Hussein's genocidal campaign against the Kurds.

Basics:

On March 16, 1988, the Iraqi government attacked the kurdish city of Halabja with chemical weapons killing 5,000 people and injuring 10,000 others. As of today, it's the worst chemical attack on a civilian population in history.

This image of a man shielding a young child has become an icon in Kurdistan.

Background:

The grinding Iran-Iraq war was coming to a close in 1988 and the border city of Halabja was caught in the middle. Claiming that the Irani army was in the city, the Iraqi air force attacked.

The air force began bombing the city with conventional weapons driving the people of Halabja into their cellars. The gas used in the chemical weapons were heavier than the air, so the cellars where perhaps the worst places to hide. This is one reason why the death toll was so high.

This attack on the Kurds can be considered as part of Iraq's Anfal campaign. Anfal was the systematic genocide of the Kurdish population of northern Iraq. From 1986 to 1999 up to 200,000 Kurds were murdered by the Ba'ath regime. 4,000 villages were destroyed and 250 towns and villages were exposed to chemical weapons (see wikipedia article).

Recommended Reading:

Obviously what I've written is only a brief summary. The US Department of State published an article on their website which I highly recommend.

The Lessons of Halabja

In truth, it was probably written as propaganda during the build up to the invasion. However, that doesn't make it any less true.

Today:

Now that Saddam is gone and the Kurdish region of Iraq has autonomy, the Kurds of Halabja are still dealing with the aftermath of the gas attack. The city was made virually unlivable following the attack, but many of the survivors stayed.

In 2003, the Kurdish government erected a memorial for the attack and in 2006 an angry mob burned it down.

This to me is one of the most interesting parts of the story. 18 years after the attack the city of Halabja still had yet to receive any significant government assistance - and since 1991, that means Kurdish government assistance. On the anniversary of the attack each year, Kurdish politicians would make the trip to Halabja and make promises to the people and use the events of 1988 as a rallying cry for unity behind the government in power.

In 2006, fed up with empty promises, the people of Halabja staged a protest on the anniversary and torched the monument reclaiming their tragedy from the hands of their ineffective leaders.

Ok, that's all I have. Be sure to read the article I referenced above.

7/20/2008

Iraq War Over?

Two long-term and respected journalists covering Iraq seem to think it is.

Read Michael Totten's article here. It references another article by Michael Yon which you can read here.

Read and discuss.

6/05/2008

Xwat Legel, Hillaryxan

So, Hillary's due to concede the Democratic nomination this week.

I can't really say that I'll miss her, but I am intrigued by the happenings.

There were two Democratic candidates who supported troop withdrawal in Iraq by leaving a residual force behind, most likely in Kurdistan - Joe Biden and HRC herself. Now, they're both out of the race.

Obama does NOT support a permanent troop presence in Iraq.

McCain, on the other hand, quite famously said that he supports the troop presence in Iraq for 100 years. This sound good, but the problem is that I fear that McCain sees victory in Iraq as victory for Iraq.

By that I mean that he - and most war supporters - expect Iraq to stay intact; partition would be a type of defeat.

I'll be waiting for the candidates to discuss alternative action plans for Iraq, but I won't be holding my breath or anything. I don't expect much.

6/26/2007

As Promised

One picture may be all you get. This one took, like, 30 minutes to upload!

This is my house from the front yard.

I'll try again tomorrow!

6/15/2007

Friday

Not much to say today, but I have electricity and internet access, so I thought I'd go ahead and update.

Janie is due back in the country tomorrow morning (4 am-ish). Todd and I will go pick her up from Capital City tomorrow morning (not 4 am-ish). And, no, I don't mean that capital city. I mean H-town. The one my mom pronounces to rhyme with gerbil.

Other than that, the only news is that it's really hot here today. I feel hot and dirty and gross, but I guess that's to be expected.

I still haven't taken any pictures of the new house, but I will. I promise. I'll even post them here so you can all share in my joy.

4/13/2007

Tomorrow...

... we head off to training. So much has happened in the last week that I want to write about here, but I don't have the time!

Today was my last day at Measurement, Inc. It was a great job. Everyone there was so welcoming. On Wednesday, I was given over 45 minutes to share my experiences with and in Iraq to the whole room (maybe 60+ people). Everyone was so receptive and supportive! I made some really good contacts and I an excited to see what the future brings.

Also on Wednesday, Angie and I found out...that...it's....a....GIRL!

I will write more over the next few days, but, if you remember December 2005, you know that training doesn't give much time for posting.

I love you all and I can't wait to share all the wonderful things that are happening!

3/27/2007

Greetings from Toledo


Yesterday, Angie and I had the opportunity to speak at North Point Church in Toledo, OH (not Toledo, Spain).
The people there were very welcoming and we had a great time. We are delighted that the church has decided to take us on and partner with us for the work in Iraq.
It was really nice to be amongst a group of people with so much interest in or work and people willing to be so supportive. I know that when we share news with them, they'll sincerely pray for us and they will seek out ways to be involved in our experiences. In fact, we even laid the ground work for getting some people together for a trip to visit us.
And by laid the ground work I mean mentioned it! no one ever seems very interested in visiting us in Iraq, but if we keep offering it someone will say yes!
You can read more at Angie's blog, or you can call me up and ask.
Just remember that I have caller ID, though.

3/05/2007

Not Always Black or White

I like to pride myself in my flexibility and ability to keep an open mind, but the truth is I often see things in black and white. At least when it affects me.

Case in point:

As you know, I have looked at this trip to Iraq and seen two options.

  1. Angie and I don't raise 100% of our support by March 9. In this case, the training goes on without us and we stay home, never to return to Iraq.
  2. Angie and I do raise 100% of our support by March 9 and we go ahead as planned.

Turns out, though, that there's a third option: Training could be postponed until April 13th!

We can totally raise 100% of our support by April 13th. As of last Friday, we have 22%. Not too shabby.

In other news, Daylight Savings Time begins on the 11th and you know what that means.

POETRY!!


3/02/2007

The Manatee Has Become the Mento

Today, I feel excited. Today, I believe in miracles.

I think I really needed to vent as a way to process my emotions. And my stress. This is a really big deal. I think that over the past few weeks/months I've minimized my fear and my general excitement about heading back to Iraq.

I am excited to see what the future holds in Kurdistan and for the Kurds. I am excited to see what the future holds for my Kurds. I am excited to see what the future holds for my family. I am excited to see what the future holds for me. I am excited because I believe that God is using this experience of raising funds and returning to Iraq to create this future that I feel so eager to see.

I have minimized my excitement out of fear. I am afraid that this won't happen; that Angie and I will be sitting at home on March 10 rather than training in CA. I am afraid that if I express my joy in the future, I will seem pathetic when it doesn't happen; that people with look at me with pity and as a fool.

In turn, I have tried to minimize my fear. I say that everything will be alright and that I'm not worried and that I'll be okay.

But my fear is well-founded. This is impractical, it is silly to believe that God can/will make a way in this. It is foolishness. My history seems to suggest something else. It's a big deal for me to move forward in spite of my fear and to express my joy in the future God has for me. It is important for me to be honest.

I have said that we are created by God to have emotions for a reason. Our desires lead us to God and we should never disregard our desires, but when it comes time to put my money where my mouth is, it's a little harder.

But, man, my heart wells with joy to think of what God is doing with and for the Kurds. I feel honored to have been given a chance to know this people group. I have been blessed by God through this people without a land to call their own and I am out of my mind with impatience waiting to see them again.

My good friend, Joan, sent me this when I asked her to read my post about my broken heart:

"i don't think you shared too much. i am glad to know where your heart is.

the only thing i know is what He told me several years ago:
"all i am asking you to do is believe Me NO MATTER WHAT."
...no matter what people say...no matter how circumstances look...
no matter what your past experience would tell you to believe...

and the greater issue is not Iraq...it's your heart that He's after the most.
I don't know what healing your heart will look like, but i will bet my life
He'll do it. And going to iraq will be icing on the cake."


She's right, of course. She usually is about things of this nature.

Over the past few days, Angie and I have had the opportunity to share our vision for the future work in Iraq and my past experiences there. We've shown the 60 Minutes clip each time. In it, Nechirvan Barzani, Prime Minister of the Kurdish Regional Government, is asked about air travel to Kurdistan. The interviewer says something like, "Do you see an American airline with direct flights to Kurdistan in the near future?"

And he smiles a little smile. And he looks like I feel; full of hope and childish excitement. Like anything is possible and the future can only be amazing. There's a look in his eyes that gives me goosebumps when I watch it and he says, "Why not? Yeah, why not?"

If you ask me how I decided to go to Iraq the first time, I'll tell you a lengthy story which involves the usual quote, "I didn't have a heart for any people, i had a heart for a type of service." The second half of that is still true, I do have a heart for a certain type of work. Now, though, I have a heart for a people. I fell in love with the Kurds, of all people. A people without a home. A people persecuted throughout their history. A people with no friends but the mountains, as they say, but a people with the potential for a glorious future and big dreams.

Like the president of Sulemania University says at the end of the clip, "Well, sometimes dreams come true. I hope my dream will come true. Will be a reality. Why not?"

2/24/2007

Hey, You

We're all friends here, right? I can be honest with you? I can share my fears and you won't judge? You won't give me trite advice and write me off, right?

Joan told me yesterday that she feels like Angie and I are about to have all the money we need and I really want to believe her. I mean, I already believe that God wants us to go to Iraq and I believe that now is the time. I believe it at about 80%. It fluctuates. Sometimes I believe it 100%, but then reality strikes.

I've been calling and e-mailing trying to drum up support and nobody's biting. It will take a miracle to make this happen.

But I have a secret. I don't believe in miracles. I mean I believe the ones in the Bible, and I believe the stories about what happened to other people, but, come on, they just don't happen to most of us.

I remember that I prayed for a miracle for Aunt Che and she just got worse to the point that I had to pray for her to die to end her suffering. That's just not fair.

I remember that I prayed for a miracle when Grandma Rosie was in the hospital. You know how that turned out?

So, here's how I think this will go based on past experience: We won't get the money. We won't go on March 9. I'll suck it up and plow ahead like I always do and a year from now I'll talk about how it was probably better that we didn't go and how I must have misheard God's voice. I'll advocate that everyone is cautious and prayerful and fasts before making decisions. I'll talk about how this "other thing" is so much better than the thing I want so desperately right now.

It won't be fair, but I guess that's how this game is played. I mean my dad died and I've convinced myself that my life turned out better because of it. This should be a piece of cake to sugar-coat.

Or maybe I'm wrong and everything will turn out fine. Maybe God will hear my cry of desperation.

And I know there are spiritual things that I don't understand, but there are earthly things that I do and all I know is that I am tired of sucking it up and moving on. I don't want to do that this time.

But I will. I'll come to my senses again maybe on March 10 and I'll put on my brave face and find another way forward.

But it'll break my heart.

2/21/2007

Dessert is Fun


Arrrgh! Angie and I are in the process of support raising as many of you know.

And I HATE it. I have heard all the positive arguments (I even believe most of them): we're allowing others to partner in the work, we are offering others the opportunity to be givers, we are spreading knowledge about little-known people.

But the fact remains that everytime I pick up the phone to call someone I feel like I am soliciting them for cash. I feel like they'll all say no and be mean to me to boot. I feel as though I am putting them in a terrible position where they'll have to say no and feel guilty and then hate me because I put them in that postition.

Rational? No. Has anyone been mean to me, yet? No.

Convential wisdon suggests that the process should get easier with each phone call, but I think it's worse. Each good response statistically means that the odds of a terrible call increase. Probably exponentially even. Who knows since I've already ceded any basis in logic.

I like to think of myself as a rather capable and rational individual, but this pushes me right over the edge. My nerves have pushed me to make lists and plans and databases for information all in an attempt to put structure to my nightmare - and, yes, I know that's a little melodramatic.

The upside is that in this process of structuring/procrastinating I found a really fantastic tool which lets me track contacts, supporters, tasks and other things. Nerds should check out CivicSpace. I've put together a really awesome website for Angie and I, but it's invite only for security reasons, so I can't post it here publicly. I think everyone who reads this knows how to get ahold of me, and I'll be happy to send you the link if you ask. But only of you ask nicely.

All that to say that we are calling our contacts (efficiently listed on our CivicSpace site) to invite them to a series of dessert meetings over the next two weeks (and by "series" I mean everyday at 7pm for two weeks). At these meetings we'll talk about the work in Iraq, the great things that are happening and, of course, how one can partner with us in the work. Yes, we will pass the figurative hat at each meeting.

And I will try to do all of this with all the confidence and positivity that I can muster because even more than I want to save myself from embarrassment and discomfort, I want to go back to Iraq.

Pray for us!