11/30/2008

Maizebread

My favorite comic strikes again

The Idiotic-Hot Scale

A blogger I don't know has posted about the Glade Lady and asks the question, Is the Glade Lady hot or idiotic?

I don't think the choice is so clear. It's not dualistic, it's multidimensional. There are innumerable points along the scales hot and idiotic. The Glade Lady could be both or even neither. I would suggest a graph such as the one below to answer the question.
We could argue where the Glade Lady actually lies on this chart, but I don't think she's as hot as most of my readers do.

Nothing against Dori Kelley.

Related Posts:

The Glade Lady's Web of Lies

That Glade Commercial Madness
Dori Kelly - The Glade lady
The Glade Lady Crosses a Line

11/26/2008

My Newest Obsession

There is something even more spectacular than Rosie's teeth in the world.

It's called ColumbusGasPrices.com.

I can find the lowest gas prices in town! And I don't even have a car.

I check it three or four times a day and today there's a little price war between two stations at High and Obetz Rd. Prices there have broken the $1.50 mark with the Exxon selling at $1.48 and the Speedway selling the city's cheapest gas for $1.47. Prices at these stations have fallen up to 5 cents from just this morning.

It's all very exciting.

PS - Rosie's fake teeth might not be permanent teeth at all. She was on Rachel Ray this morning with normal teeth. I don't know why her commercial teeth are so big!

11/25/2008

The Glade Lady is Good for Business

I don't know what she's doing for Glade, but she's doing a great job for 13Months.

My glade-lady-related rant was briefly mentioned at AdRants, and now more people can read what I have to say about our candle friend.

Let's hope Glade green lights some more foolish commercials!

11/24/2008

Return of the Teeth

Who do celebrities get unnaturally white giant fake teeth?

I don't mean to be negative; if you want giant teeth I say go for it.

It's just noticeable.

And yet, no one really mentions it. Perhaps it's impolite to ask. I guess it wouldn't be the type of thing you'd want to bring up in conversation. If I was at dinner with someone who had giant stark white horse teeth, I wouldn't say anything.

But I would stare. A lot. It doesn't happen everyday.

And, if I knew the person well, I would ask about it. I'd probably never stop talking about it. I'd have a ton of questions mostly about motivation. "Do giant teeth make you feel better about yourself as compared to normal-sized, normal-colored natural teeth?"

"Did you have yellow rat-sized smoker's teeth before this?"

Both excellent questions.

Hilary Duff has the giant teeth. So does Josh Gracin as I've noted before.

The highest profile star to have them now is Rosie O'Donnell.

I wouldn't normally mention Rosie here. I haven't before and I doubt I will again. She has that new variety show, though, and those commercials where the reporters don't seem to know who she is.

It's because of the teeth Rosie. It's because of the teeth.

11/17/2008

Sugar Momma

If you've been following along here, you know that I am still unemployed. I had a great interview last week that has me very excited, but nothing as of yet.

Angie, on the other hand, started a new job on Friday of last week. It's part-time, but she can pick up additional hours as the job demands. Today, she's working from 8am to 5 pm!

I am staying home with Nila being a stay-at-home dad - at least part-time.

Angie's been keeping us afloat anyway with her design company. Now she's working outside the home and it only means one thing:

I have a Sugar Momma.


I may never get a job!

11/13/2008

Angie is Famous

If you live in the central Ohio area and you watch Fox 28 news, then you were treated to Angie on the news.

She was interviewed for her work on the Crimestoppers website.

There's a serial rapist in Columbus and it's driven the site's traffic way up. The site was down today, so they did a story and featured Angie.

Yay, Angie.

I tried to find video of it online, but I can't. Angie did a great job.

Also, check out the website. She did a great job with that, too.

**Update**

Angie is also famous on ABC 6. As of 11:15 pm, she was the featured story on the website, too.

See her here.

11/07/2008

Words That Aren't Words: Nother

The word is another. It's a blend of two words: the article an and the word other.

It's 'an' instead of 'a' because other begins with a vowel.

If you add a modifier, such as the word whole, you have two options:
  1. split other from its article and insert the modifier before other - That's a whole other story.
  2. add the modifier after the word another - That's another whole story.
#1 is clearly the better choice. It sounds better. It's important to remember that when you split the word to accommodate the modifier whole, 'an' becomes 'a' again because w is a consonant.

That 'n' goes away. It does not belong to other.

That's a whole nother story is incorrect.

Nother is not a word.

Seriously.

11/06/2008

Thoughts on the Election

I have many thoughts on the election, but I find that I'm having a hard time putting together a cohesive post. Therefore, I'll just write some of my thoughts below without worrying about cohesion.

You're on your own for the cohesion.

I watched Al Jazeera for the results. I don't have cable, just what I can get with an antenna. The three major networks had so much extra flare on their screens that it was difficult for me to read anything. So, I watched Al Jazeera online.

They did a nice job, but I heard the phrase "No Republican has every won the presidency without Ohio" about 54 times over three hours.

Also, they had a male and female anchor. The man was British and really awful. When they cut to video of the Obama rally he said "Let's all be silent and let the crowd speak." Cut to five minutes of people screaming while the newspeople remained silent.

It was weird and inappropriate as he cut off a conversation mid-sentence.

McCain's concession speech was nice. I thought it was very classy.

Joe Biden was the only candidate to support federalism in Iraq. I don't know that it'll make any real difference, but it could be positive for Kurdistan.

I always enjoy voting. Yesterday was no exception. It was cool, too that so many people voted who wouldn't normally. It was the first vote for both Angie and Kate. This is the first time Kate was old enough. Angie doesn't really have an excuse.

But, I also found respect for people that refused to vote.

Obama isn't really an African American. He's the son of a white woman and an African man, so he's clearly an American of African descent. However, given his upbringing with his mother's family, I think he lacks the experience of most black Americans.

It also means that his personal racial history is not typical of black people in America. There is no history of slavery or oppressive racism in his family other than his own, of course.

I don't mean that as a value judgment, rather it's just something that occurred to me last night and I found the thought interesting. I wonder about the differences between him and even his own wife. And I wonder if it even matters. Does it play out in the relationship between Obama and Michelle? Does the mere fact of having black skin allow one into the shared history of the black community.

I'd like to do a sociological study of it, but, alas, I doubt I will.

I hope Obama can live up to the expectations of his supporters. Wouldn't that be great? I fear that expectations are way too high, but if he gets anywhere near it'll be great for the country, so I'll wait hopefully.

It's exciting that people are so excited by him, but I can be cynical; I think there's no way he can be everything that people want him to be or even everything he promised to be.

I am eager, though, to get to the end of the Bush administration and the general feeling of funk that's settled in over the past couple of years. For good or bad, Obama will be a change and will be perceived as a huge change.

And Obama's honeymoon phase will keep the media quiet for a while. I think even the conservative media will give him a break for a few months.

That silence will be nice.

Or maybe that's just wishful thinking.

11/01/2008

The Glade Lady Crosses a Line

I am not obsessed with the Glade Lady.

I swear.

But there's a new commercial and I feel I must comment on it. You see, this time the Glade Lady takes her foolishness too far.

The Commercial:

The Glade Lady can be seen lighting a candle (I guess it's not really a candle at all, but some sort of Glade oil scent pod. I don't know the trade name, but it's not important) and then putting out some store-bought gingerbread cookies.

She invites her friends in and they comment on how good her cookies smell.

One of the cookies stands up - seriously - and says "Oh no you didn't. That smell is a candle, not us cookies!"

The friends are probably all "What the... that cookie just talked," or "Oh how magical! A talking cookie. It's like a Disney film. Or Shrek. Or Shrek 2. Or even Shrek 3"

The Glade Lady doesn't miss a beat. She grabs the cookie and bites his head off as her friends look on horrified. She then offers the remaining cookies to the friends confident that her warning will keep the other cookies silent.

The Analysis:

I think this one is meant to be a light-hearted take on the Glade Lady's compulsion to lie.

"Ah, gee, she got busted by that cute talking cookie."

The only way to make it light-hearted, though, is for the Glade Lady, the cookie and the friends to have a good laugh.

Instead, she murders the cookie.

Up to this point, those who have been brave enough to confront the Glade Lady have lived to tell about it: her friend who finds the sticker on her butt, her husband, her yoga partner. Now, the Glade Lady has put her detractors on notice: If you cross me, I will bite your head off while your family watches and I will chew it up.

Before you write this off as over analysis, I suggest you watch the commercial and focus on the friends. I think their faces are priceless. They say:

"In two minutes, I just saw a freakin' talking cookie, my friend ate said cookie and then tried to make me eat a similar cookie, a cookie which may be just alive as the first one. I don't know how many of those cookies can talk! Why am I friends with this woman? Why am I still in this kitchen? I am disgusted, but mostly I am afraid! If I make any false moves, will she eat me, too?"

I wonder what's next for the Glade Lady now that she's had a taste of blood.

Or icing.

I don't really know what flows through the veins of gingerbread men.

Related Posts:

The Glade Lady's Web of Lies

That Glade Commercial Madness
Dori Kelly - The Glade lady
The Glade Lady - Hot or Idiotic?