Back By Popular Demand

Well, at least Lucy is enjoying my daily updates from Joan's classes. Which, by the way, will become three on July 12! Congrats, Joan.

But before I start, if you didn't go to cbs.com and vote for Jenelle, you cannot read on...

Joan's Class - 06/27/06 - Review and Trigger Point a go-go

Special Note: Call Ernie at 9:15
  • 8:30 - Joan begins lecturing students
  • 8:31 - Why do we do massage? Because Joan makes us do it, that's why?
  • 8:32 - Think about taking picturses. Realize that I just wrote "picturses." Ponder likelihood of dyslexia, probably don't haev ti.
  • 8:34 - Whoa! Slow down, Joan. You are moving way too fast! Haha, you said spasticity.
  • 8:35 - Joan draws her own colon this time. Notably inferior to mine.
  • 8:36 - OK, 8:35 was mostly bitterness. I never even saw the colon picture; Joan stood in front of it.
  • 8:37 - Yikes! That colon is hideous. Whew, Joan erased it.
  • 8:43 - Fascism is like Saran Wrap
  • 8:44 - Dang, it is hot today.
  • 8:50 - Remember to take deep breaths
  • 8:51 - "When you are holding pressure on the Trigger Point..." Joan never gets to finish this statement
  • 9:00-9:30 - Text message Ernie and Lucy.

Joan's Class II - 06/27/06 - Groove is in the Heart, but it's probably just referral groove.

  • 10:00 - Surprise! It's Helga!
  • 10:07 - Class begins
  • 10:08 - Joan draws a man on the board. I think, from the looks of him, it was his colon in the first class
  • 10:15 - Take more pictures
  • 10:22 - Joan pulls out the Saran Wrap again
  • 10:25 - Realize that Joan put an "x" on each of her drawing's butt cheeks
  • 10:30 - Almost fall asleep, but then I don't
  • 10:35 - This seems to be going well
  • 10:38 - You always "wanna work the hips."
  • 10:43 - Ernie asks a question as if he were a real student
  • 10:46 - Joan puts Ernie on the message table and exposes his stomach. He is embarrassed. I take pictures.
  • 11:04 - I don't know what hypertonic means
  • 11:11 - We move rooms. Helga leaves
  • 11:30 - Ernie and I go to the Chai Xane while Joan and the Therapists practice messaging one another
  • 11:50 - Class ends
  • 11:52 - Student asks for a free massage

Joan's Class - 06/28/06 - More TP Practice

  • 8:24 - Joan calls the child volunteer "him" when the child is clearly a "she." Realize that the Kurds don't know the difference
  • 8:25 - Joan tries to eat the child volunteer
  • 8:30 - Class starts as Joan tries to massage child volunteer. "He" screams. I think about taking pics, but no one wants pictures of crying babies.
  • 8:33 - Kid stops crying. I take some pictures
  • 8:40 - Practice, practice, practice
  • 8:41 - Mr.Muscle diagram gets passed out. Finally. After 18 weeks.
  • 8:42 - Effleurage sounds like a type of plant. As in: "The effleurage around the mailbox is dry and brown. Poor effleurage.
  • 8:50 - PTs begin to practice massage. I read a book.
  • 9:15 - Pause in my reading to make this note
  • 9:19 - Class is over. Joan is a nice teacher for letting them out early.
  • 9:50 - I'm sitting in the CRC waiting room. At present no one is crying, but lady with a wicked mole walked by and gave me the evil eye. I deflect the evil eye with the "watchoo lookin' at" eye.
  • 9:52 - Wonder to myself whether Joan is helping to massage children or if she's sitting out a tennis match with her grandkids...


Angie said...

How you don't get drafted to be a joke writer for SNL? I just don't know? The heat has been good for your wit, not that it was dull to begin with.

Tammy said...

Okay, I'm not sure what is going on over there, but to put Ernie on a message table scares me a bit. Sounds like you're having a great time-maybe too good of a time.

Irene said...

I'm so glad that I can keep following your notes online, please don't stop posting them!! Even from Holland I will enjoy them big time. Now, I don't know what SNL is, but you should definitely be their joke writer, I agree with angie! Robert, it was a pleasure to work with you. Don't melt in the heat before going home.

OTRgirl said...

Joan needs her own blog so she can defend herself! I don't want to aid in increasing your head size by saying anything about how amusing these have been for me, so I won't.

Less writing, more pictures, driver!

Angie said...

He doesn't have a big head. He's confident.

Come now. Get with the program.