For Kate

This one is for Kate. I stole it from the same website as yesterday's post:

Fruit by the Foot
Submitted by Michaelanne Petrella
The new Fruit by the Foot variety pack has three kinds in one box—strawberry, berry tie-dye, and "color by the foot." Each piece has a serrated "squiggly fun" line down the center, allowing you to pull the fruit (fruit? i guess it's fruit) in half and eat each side at different times. Color by the foot is a bad name for a flavor—it sounds like I'm eating foot-flavored crayons—so they put an asterisk next to it on the box that tells you it's "naturally rainbow punch flavored." I've never had rainbow punch, but I'm guessing that it consists of cherries, bananas, star fruits, raisins, peanuts, and onions. It looks trash-colored and makes my teeth hurt. I ate four boxes in two days.

And, in real news, it is exactly 4 weeks from tomorrow that I head out of town. Back to the USSR, so to speak.

Well, that really doesn't make sense, now does it? I mean, I've never actually been to the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics, and, let's face it, I think my chance has passed.

So pretend I didn't use that poor pop culture reference and insert this where that was: Born in the USA. I think Springsteen will make everyone forget about the other one.

Oh, FYI, we moved a refrigerator into our office today because we are hillbillies. I think in Kurdistan, they call the "hillbillies" Arabs, but that just seems mean. I would rather degrade the hillbillies.

I've never actually met an Arab but I think they consist of cherries, bananas, star fruits, raisins, peanuts and onions.