I thought I could share these notes with you all here and you'd know how I spend my days.
Joan's Class - 06/21/06 - Abdominal Massage + Stuff
- Attendance = 0
- Poor Joan!
- 8:35 - Pass out colons
- 8:36 - Remember that I forgot to write: "8:35 - Have Kurdish corrected because @ 8:22 - didn't know the word for adult and made one up."
- 8:37 - Joan puts a Kurd on the massage table
- 8:39 - Joan massages a man with a spastic colon
- 8:41 - He dies
- 8:42 - just kidding. Also recount class. Attendance = 10
- 8:45 - Lady with great teeth comes in late
- 8:49 - Joan gracefully answers insulting question
- 8:55 - Joan passes out
- 8:56 - I mean paper: Joan passes out paper
- 9:00 - Realize class is half over.
mourn rejoice - 9:01 - Split class to practice massage
- 9:03 - Sit outside where it is hot and watch men massage each others' stomachs
- 9:15 - Fall asleep
- 9:20 - Define "millennium"
- 9:23 - Explain that, no, I am not a physical therapist, but an office administrator
- 9:24 - This is met with "thank you," which is a pleasant surprise
- 9:25 - Come back into classroom
- 9:26 - Joan says "any questions?"
- 9:27 - There is much Kurdish chatter, but no actual questions
- 9:30 - Student asks for a free massage
Joan's Class - 06/24/06 - Trigger Point Introduction
- 8:25 - Draw face on Joan's handout. Starts as an attempt to cure baldness of the Trigger Point head, but ends in "Japanification" of Trigger Point head
- 8:29 - Draw yet another colon on the board; also draw a semi-colon
- 8:30 - First student arrives
- 8:30(2) - Joan asks me to make a note to check on elbow replacement
- 8:34 - Joan ruins my colon picture with a giant circular squiggle (aka: blight) meant to represent the belly button, but which actually represents her disdain for my artistic endeavors
- 8:38 - A previously unseen student straggles in on day 3 (DAY 3!)
- 8:39 - Notice that "Teeth" isn't in class
- 8:40 - Class gets off to a roaring start
- 8:45 - Joan's diagram complains of shoulder pain. Joan says that this is due to Trigger Points. I think it's because he doesn't have any arms.
- 8:50 - Disagreement on inflammation and the use of ice and heat causes Joan to use the word "spastic" in its proper usage and by its clinical definition
- 8:51 - Lost my pen!
- 8:54 - Learn that the first step in Trigger Point massage is to find the trigger point
- 8:55 - Agree to make a note to remember the muscle diagram for Tuesday
- 9:00 - Find pen during "Are we going to the clinic" debate
- 9:02 - Make a note to remember the muscle diagram for Tuesday (see above)
- 9:05 - Realize that I haven't been paying attention to Joan's lecture since 9:00 when I found my pen. Feel a little guilty, but not very much really.
- 9:10 - PTs want to massage burn and fracture patients. Desperately. Next may want to massage people with fevers and open sores. Also, probably, leprosy
- 9:12 - I am on page 3!
- 9:14 - PTs like to get off-track a lot
- 9:17 - Joan uses "speed bump" analogy which I think was appreciated
- 9:19 - Joan starts touching people
- 9:21-9:24 - Everyone feels volunteer's shoulder "bumps"
- 9:26 - Better or worse are both good apparently
- 9:28 - Everyone fermu danishes
- 9:30 - Joan passes out papers and is tewaw
- 9:33 - Just kidding, not tewaw
- 9:34 - Really tewaw
Joan's Class II - 06/25/06 - Introduction to Massage. etc.
- 10:10 - Class officially begins. I think Joan is worried about filling two hours. Sidenote: the lady from the Maternity Hospital is kind of annoying
- 10:15-10:20 - Take pictures. Get off my back, Joan
- 10:20 - I got nothing here...
- 10:25 - Adult Rehab Center = ARC, Children's Rehab Center = CRC
- 10:29 - Joan decides to teach massage in the context of back and shoulder pain. I hope she needs to practice. On me
- 10:34 - I am tired. I need to take a nap
- 10:35-10:43 - Take more pictures. I hope they turn out
- 10:45 - Why is today's list/notes so boring? Don't know, but vow to find out
- 10:53 - Person on bench turns around to view muscle diagram; accidentally makes a "fart" noise at which point Joan goes silent. Coincidental, but humorous
- 10:55 - Tennis Elbow discussion. Joan asks "Well, are they really playing tennis?" I think "No. They had better sit this one out..."
- 11:00 - Joan ends class
- 11:01 - Student asks for free massage
There you have it. Three hours of my life in summary form.
By the way,
fermu danishe = welcome, sit
tewaw= finished
1 comment:
You, my son, are absolutely hysterical-I love that you make me laugh. Keep having "fun" and I can't wait to see you. I had to do the stomach massage on Matt-he was grateful.
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