Because I Said I Would

Yesterday, Joan asked me why I hadn't updated this blog and when I would. I said that I would update last night, but then I didn't, so I am doing it now.

I haven't written anything since the potato bug incident and a lot has happened since then. Most notably, the potato-bug-related nightmares have stopped.

We went from SoCal to Phoenix and now we're in Houston. Our first day in H-Town we witnessed a huge explosion just a few blocks away from the office. It wasn't terrorism like I assumed, but rather a freak accident in which a power transformer blew up in a huge ball of fire. We were without electricity for a number of hours. I think it was good practice for Iraq!

Since then, I've spent most of my time anticipating the American Idol finale. I missed last week's shows, but I know Melinda is no longer in the running. I think Blake is the clear winner, but America doesn't always agree with me.

In real-life news, Angie is headed home this week instead of going forward to Iraq. We decided that it would be better for her (and little baby Nila), if she went home until after the baby is born. I am still headed to Iraq this Friday.

Is This What You Wanted?

Lucy sent me an e-mail request to update the blog. She got tired of looking at the potato bug,I guess.

I Killed This Today

Q: What other names are Potato Bugs known by?
A: The common Potato Bug is also known as the Jerusalem cricket. Our Native American friends call him “Woh-tzi-Neh” (Old Bald-Headed Man). In Latin America, he’s “niña de la tierra” (child of the earth). Other names include: Satan's fetus, the Devil's spawn, the Devil's child, the Devil's baby, the Devil's fetus, evil fetus, bald devil fetus, bald fetus of Satan, and earth fetus.

Q: Do potato bugs bite?
A: They gnaw.

Q: Why are potato bugs so ugly and frightening? Why do they look part human? Where did they come from?
A: The most widely held belief is that God didn’t create potato bugs. It was Satan’s work. And amongst evolutionists and non-religious types, the consensus is that potato bugs came from outer space.

Q: I have potato bugs in my vegetable garden. How can I rid myself of these pesky critters?
A: Drench your entire yard with gasoline and set it ablaze. Once the fire has burned itself out and the ground has cooled, cultivate the soil to a depth of seven feet, saturate the area with battery acid and top the surface with gasoline. After a few minutes, most of the surviving potato bugs, now irritated, will burrow up for air. Set the yard on fire again, and let it burn itself out. The remaining bugs should be crisped. Add water. Only then, and only maybe, will you rid yourself of potato bugs.

Q: When I sleep, I have recurring dreams about potato bugs. Nightmares, really. Should I be concerned?
A: No. We all have nightmares about potato bugs. Try not to drink alcohol right before bed.

Q: Does alcohol consumption increase the chances of potato bug nightmares?
A: No. Potato bugs are drawn to the smell of alcohol, so when you drink late at night they’re more likely to infest your bed. They may gnaw your cheeks while you sleep, trying to get at the smell of the alcohol on your breath.

Q: I have never even seen a potato bug. Where would I be likely to find one?
A: Consider yourself very lucky, click away from this website, and forget you ever asked that question.

Q: Do potato bugs eat potatoes?
A: Potato bugs eat your cheeks.

Thanks to PotatoBugs.com for all of this priceless information. I didn't expect to be confronted with this evil monster today, but some people are born great while others have greatness thrust upon them...

Interesting

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Robert Meeker!

1. It is impossible to fold Robert Meeker more than seven times!
2. Americans discard enough Robert Meeker to rebuild their entire commercial air fleet every 3 months.
3. Robert Meeker is actually a vegetable, not a fruit!
4. All the moons of the Solar System are named after characters from Greek and Roman mythology, except the moons of Uranus, which are named after Robert Meeker!
5. The word 'samba' means 'to rub Robert Meeker'!
6. If every star in the Milky Way was a grain of salt they would fill Robert Meeker.
7. The pupil of an octopus's eye is shaped like Robert Meeker.
8. Peanuts and Robert Meeker are beans.
9. The porpoise is second to Robert Meeker as the most intelligent animal on the planet.
10. It takes a lobster approximately 7 years to grow to be Robert Meeker.

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