The Glade Lady's Web of Lies

There is a commercial that drives me insane. I have held my tongue on the blog because I didn't want to seem like a maniac, but now there's a second commercial.

In the first commercial, a woman dressed in a black cocktail dress and pearls is preparing to have some people over. She prepares her home and lights a Glade candle, but she takes the label off of the Glade candle before her guests arrive. She attempts to throw the label in the garbage, but unbeknownst to her, it attaches to her butt.

Her guests arrive - three other ladies dressed much more casually than their hostess - and they comment positively on the smell of her home.

The Glade Lady claims that the candle came from France.

Her "friends" laugh and one of them snatches the Glade label from her butt. She says mockingly, "Oh, haven't you ever heard of Gladé?"

Then the women laugh at the Glade Lady.

I can't stand this commercial for the following reasons:

• The Glade Lady is wearing pearls to have some friends over for pie
• I don't believe that France has this awesome candle-making reputation
• If they did, it wouldn't be for making Apple-Cinnamon-scented candles
• The friends never believed that the candle came from France which means that Glade candles are no competition for even the imaginary French candle industry
• If one really wanted to fool one's friends into thinking that their Glade candle was specially imported from Europe, and especially France, a home-spun scent like Apple Cinnamon is the last scent to choose! I mean, really. Vanilla? Berry? Human Urine? Those scream Paris!
• What kind of person lies about a candle?

I could have let it go, but the Glade Lady's back in a new commercial.

In this one her husband leaves her alone all day so she can clean her house. Instead she sprays some Glade brand Febreeze rip off on all of her stuff and goes shopping and dancing and ice skating and some other nonsense.

She sneaks back home before her husband returns and pretends to be so tired from cleaning. Her husband finds the Glade product and calls her on her lie.

I don't know why her husband left all day and expected her to clean the house. I don't know what keeps him so busy, but it doesn't seem to be pretending to clean. He may be pretending to go to work, but we'll have to wait for a third Glade commercial to find out.

I also don't know why the Glade Lady is such a bad liar, nor do I know why she decides to lie about the things she does. Maybe she pretends to be a bad liar about these minor things so that when she lies about important things, people think "Well, she must be telling the truth. She is a terrible liar. Remember when she said that candle came from France?"

I'm on to you Glade Lady. Now, please go away.

Related Posts:

That Glade Commercial Madness
Dory Kelly - The Glade Lady
The Glade Lady Crosses a Line
The Glade Lady - Hot or Idiotic?

Disparity

As you know, 13Months is officially pro-McCain. However, I have continued to pay attention to the political happenings including watching the conventions.

I have come to a conclusion: the mass media outlets truly do hate the Republicans.

In last week's coverage of the Democratic National Convention, I saw what I considered at the time to be normal and expected coverage. The anchors seemed smitten with Obama, but that was to be expected and I didn't find it over the top.

But, now that the Republicans are being covered, I notice that the media outlets seem to be doing everything possible to undermine them.

I started with NBC. CBS is my go-to network for most things - Big Brother, As the World Turns, local news - but not national news. Since I've been back from Iraq, I haven't had cable and I've been forced to watch the big three's national news. It's horrible and CBS is the worst. Katie Couric is terrible at her regular job. She's even worse at political coverage. Angie and I tried to watch CBS during the Democratic convention and she was painful to watch.

Ok, my point was that we started on NBC. They decided to show the tape of President Bush first. He spoke via satellite from Washington, DC. Their coverage began at 10, but his speech began before that, so they showed the taped version.

They decided to show it without crowd reaction; it was just his speech. Everytime he paused for cheers and applause we actually heard silence. Of course, this made him look like a maniac.

We switched to ABC and saw much of the rest of the speech with crowd reaction. It was a step up, but ABC would make up for it.

Both Fred Thompson and Joe Lieberman spoke tonight. ABC chose to let their 3 correspondents and two analysts chat over the beginning of Fred Thompson's speech.

Then they talked over the beginning of Joe Lieberman's speech.

Then they went to a reporter on the floor DURING Joe Lieberman's speech to talk about Bristol Palin's pregnancy.

They wrapped up coverage not with the rest of Lieberman' speech, but with video of the anti-Republican protesters.

I watched every night of the Democratic National Convention and I never once saw an interrupted speech nor coverage of the protesters in Denver.

Nila's Party

First, I should say that, for pictures and video of the event, you'll need to go to Nila's blog.

Although her birthday is tomorrow, we had her first birthday party today at 3pm.

There were about 17 guests and they showered Nila with gifts. Seriously, it was a lot more than either Angie or I expected.

Given all the gifts, Nila preferred to play with the batteries.

She also got icing all over her hair. She always likes to put her food in her hair for some reason and she went crazy with the cake today. It was, well, caked in her hair.

Angie bartered her web design services (see here) for both catering and a cake.

The food came from Buckeye Boys BBQ. It was very good. I think everyone enjoyed it. We had chicken wings, barbecue beef, baked beans and macaroni and cheese.

The cake came from someone who shall remain nameless. It tasted good, but it wasn't the prettiest cake I've ever seen. Which is no big deal unless it is your business to make and decorate cakes. Then you should get it more than 50% right.

For cakes even worse than ours check out this site. It makes me feel better about Nila's cake.

Now, Nila's sleeping restfully and Angie is furiously preparing the videos for Nila's blog.

I won't post any pictures or videos here. I want to keep all the party stuff together for anyone who wasn't able to make it.

It was a great day. Nila is such a beautiful and fantastic little girl. She was truly delightful today and I expect Angie and I will watch the videos a million or so times.

Pre-Season

I know there's a lot of things going on in the world today. Obama's speech tonight, the possibility that we'll know McCain's running mate by the morning. Not to mention the many things happening in other countries, like Russia's "peace-keeping" forces in Georgia.

I have other problems, though.

CBS programming in Columbus has been pre-empted by football.

That means I'll miss the special live double-eviction episode. I'll miss it for pre-season football!

Pre-Season!!!!

On a Thursday.

In August!

I have added a poll to the right to gauge what you think about it.

I mistakenly thought the game was against two out-of-state teams. In my rage, I failed to notice that one of the teams was Cleveland, but the sentiment is the same. I can't imagine caring less about the Browns' pre-season gameplay. In fact, I can't imagine caring less about the Browns' seasonal gameplay.

More than just that, though. Football is on three stations tonight in Columbus: ABC, NBC and CBS. That's unheard of.

And again, it's pre-season football on a Thursday in August. Why?

Keep it Real

I haven't updated in a little while.

Now you know why. My candidacy has taken up a lot of time.

My main competition is Happy.

Totten

Everyone's favorite blogger/reporter to cover the Kurds has moved on to Georgia.

Of course, he covers much more than the Kurds, but that's how I came to read his work.

The point of this post is to get you to read this; Michael Totten's report from Tblisi.

One quote that stood out to me was this one:

And my translator, whose husband works for Georgia’s ministry of foreign affairs, made a similar guess that the West helped save the capital. “The night they came close to Tbilisi,” she said, “Bush and McCain made their strongest speeches yet. The Russians seemed to back down. Bush and McCain have been very good for us.”

I think Americans have a tendency to deny our country's power - and therefore, duty - in the world. This quote reminds me on things I heard from Kurdish people on many occasions.

But, we have to remember that others expect those with power to act and inaction leads to resentment.

Gold Medal!

Yearbook Yourself

1956

I found a new obsession

It's www.yearbookyourself.com.

As you can guess, you upload a picture of yourself and you get to see yourself in yearbook pics from various years.

My coloring is off a bit in some of the pictures, but it's hilarious nonetheless.

1958

1964

I love it so much in, in fact, there are 6 more pictures below!!

1970

1976

1978

1984

1990

2000

Here Comes McCain Again

..falling on my head like a new emotion.

Wait. Is that how that song goes?

Another post from me today. I know it makes 3. I like to keep you on your toes.

This post is the least important of the three I've posted, so be sure to read the others.

Anyhoo. I read this article tonight.

It seems that people have trouble believing that McCain could be so poised while Obama seemed less so.

Angie and I watched the forum online last night and we were both very impressed by McCain and I was surprised by the allegation that he somehow heard the questions before they were asked of him.

McCain was able to answer quickly and easily because he's prepared. This isn't the first time he's been asked questions. I mean, the man's just under 100 years old* and has been elected to office approximately 56 times*!

He could answer quickly because he has something to say. He has positions on issues and actual experience related to the job which he is seeking.

I should note that my anti-Obama bias has been growing. On Friday, I may have removed a pro-Obama flyer from a public cork board and when Vanessa suggested stealing Obama campaign signs from local yards, I thought it seemed reasonable.

We didn't do it. We wouldn't do it. I'm just saying we thought about it.

* As Mr. Fisher taught me, 85% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

Speaking of Trust

This post is for Brandy Shrader.

Once when we were speaking about why Angie and I left our former church she said, "I just wish you would tell people what really happened!"

I told her that it didn't really matter. It wouldn't make a difference and I didn't want to say anything negative.

I don't intend to say anything negative now, either. But I do want to discuss why I struggle with church and that involves what happened to me.

I do not have a history of involvement with the normal American church.

I found Jesus in a Bible Study at a Christian gym thanks to men named Jugg, Wiley and Fritz. I was baptized after hours in a church baptismal with my sisters with just Fritz and the church pastor in attendance. This was a direct result of answered prayers on a treadmill.

Fritz bought a truck and took supplies to tornado hit Tennessee, he bought plane tickets and went to serve the community of Littleton, CO following the school shooting. Fritz ran a Christian weight-lifting competition, he set up sign language and Spanish lessons in the gym. He stopped charging fees and relied on donations. He took his truck to inner city tent revivals where black preachers preached fire and people fell out in the aisles and carried flags for Jesus.

And I did all of that with him. He introduced me to Creflo Dollar and Joyce Meyer and how to follow Jesus like a child.

But, as things often do, it ended. I went to London and, when I came back, everything seemed different. The gym was failing for lack of money and the season for it ended. I left. I wondered for a while what happened, but, looking back, I can honestly say that the time for that in my life was over.

In early 2002, Vanessa said she was going to try a new church out in Grove City. Sis and I decided to go too. We all liked it, so we went as a family. Soon, Mom and Grandma were coming, too. As you know, it's where I met Angie.

A lot of good things happened there.

The good things culminated with my first trip to Iraq. I was excited to finally be going and nervous, too of course.

Everything was going well until the end of May 2005. If you've been a reader, you'll know that's when this blog began as a way to communicate as I went to Iraq and a few days after 13months was born, I found out that my trip would be postponed.

This, of course, was after I'd already quit my job and told everyone I was going. The Company with whom I was traveling couldn't tell me when I would be going with any certainty.

I spent the Summer and most of the Fall waiting.

It was during this waiting period that my troubles with my church began. I think that my reaction to the waiting was not the reaction that the pastor would have liked to see. I don't know this for sure, but he did advise me to call The Company and explain my situation and demand that they do something.

In my mind, that was pointless. At this point we were waiting on more people to go. There were only two of us and we needed more. I made them aware of my situation, but the only thing left to me to do was to wait and have faith.

If you asked me, I'd say that during this period, I lost the respect of my pastor. I was doing volunteer work that put me in direct contact with him, but I feel he was afraid to let me really do the work, preferring to be heavily involved instead. Nothing got done and by September 2005, I had quit the position and had begun to pull back a little from the church.

Then I went to Iraq.

In Iraq, there wasn't a church to go to and I had to rely on a very small group of believers. It was a struggle, but it may be the best thing that's happened to me. I remember at a Creflo Dollar conference, God told me not to let walls get between us. I had let the church and my experience become a wall.

That's nothing compared to what happened next.

In July 2006, I came back from the US. I was dealing with re-entry shock and somethings happened with my church that added fuel to my bitterness.

It's not necessary to get into what happened. A lot of it may only be my perception of the truth and not the actual truth. Regardless, it soured me on the traditional church.

I talked with my pastor and we discussed my new feelings. I was having a really hard time sitting through services. He was supportive and told me that maybe God was pushing me to bigger things; maybe traditional church wasn't for me anymore.

He was right, but then he said something that over shadowed the good advice. I told him that I felt the church was ignoring me and not supporting me in my return.

He said, "Honestly, we just don't think about you."

And I was finished.

And I was bitter.

Not think about me!?! You're my pastor. You're my elders. You're my community.

But not, right? Not at all.

No matter what problems I may have had with Fritz, I know he was always thinking about me.

So, Angie and I were married, I went back to Iraq, Nila was born, we all went back to Iraq and we returned home without the support of the church community I had expected to be there during the whole thing.

The bitterness of "we don't think about you" has been really difficult to work through to say the least.

Yesterday, Brandy and I went to a church plant of the original church. It's in a needy area of town and I was interested to see what was going on, but I was worried too.

I was worried because I had (have) no idea what my reputation is with these people. What do they think of me? Or worse, do they NOT think of me? What will they think to see me there?

I went anyway. The church itself was beautiful and the service was nice. It was good to worship with people again. I saw people that I really did want to see again. It was nice.

And I was greeted at the door by a woman who was truly happy to see me. Someone I bet still prays for Angie and I. It was nice.

But I don't know if I'll be able to give myself over to a church again. I don't think I'll ever be able to depend on a pastor, at least not one with 1200 other people to think about.

If I am going to place the care of my faith in someone's hands, I need to be sure he remembers it's there. Maybe I've moved past the need for a pastor other than Jesus himself. The Bible does admonish us against milk when we should be on solid foods. Perhaps, a church of equals is the next step.

The funny thing is, though, that it was the first step, too. It's where I started.

I have kept relatively quiet about the root cause of my church-related bitterness. I have thought of it as a personal issue between me and my pastor. In truth, it really wasn't. It was an issue between me and me. I mean, he admitted that he wasn't thinking about me when I went to the church, so I'm sure he's not thinking about me now.

I was hurt and I let that hurt turn into bitterness and that bitterness has become a problem.

So, that's where this all ends. God continues to teach me and show me how to follow Him better. I continue to learn things slowly and to understand how my past fits into the puzzle of my now.

I see that God has been teaching me the way to follow Him. It's more than churches and Iraq and tent revivals. It's about getting rid of the walls that keep us from Him. It's about losing the pride and carrying the flag down the street, it's about losing the fear of what other people think and knowing what God thinks, it's about putting all of your faith in Him and not men.

And it's about things I don't even know yet.