I am qualified for this job because I'm HOT

We did MadLibs in class today.

This is my favorite line.

Piroze, Iraq

I am sure you all already know the following information, what being such huge soccer fans and all, but Iraq beat Saudi Arabia this evening to win the Asia Cup.

That's right, the Iraqi soccer team is the best in all of Asia and everyone is pretty excited about it (except the Saudis and the other non-Iraqi Asians, I assume.)

There is much celebrating in the streets at the moment, even here in Kurdistan. So, I say "Good for Iraq. Way to go," or simply "piroze" in Kurdish.

My Fan

Yesterday, I bought a fan in the bazaar. My fan was made in Japan and came with a great set of instructions and warnings. Here a couple of my favorites.

1. Keep the fan in the dry place and far from sunlight.

I think Iraq qualifies as THE dry place.

2. Easy cleaning by using the damp cloth to wipe out the dirty.

3. Do not use the fan near a light object. It will cause a dangerous because fan will imbibe all that light object into the fan.

So, my fan is a tiny black hole sucking all light into itself? This one had me a little worried. I mean, I certainly don't want to be the cause of a dangerous. Especially one that involves imbibing the light object.

I used my fan last night and I slept very well, thank you, but I turned off all the light objects before I turned the fan on. Just in case.

Funny...

This link has famous poems rewritten as limericks.

Here's my personal favorite:

Footprints in the Sand

There was a man who, at low tide
Would walk with the Lord by his side
Jesus said "Now look back;
You'll see one set of tracks.
That's when you got a piggy-back ride."

My First Movie

For a couple of weeks I have seen posters around town for a movie. I was excited because I assumed that meant there must be some theater somewhere showing this movie.

It is called Jani Gal and is based on a novel by Ibrahim Ahmed about life in Kurdistan following the assassination of Sheikh Mahmoud. Well, at least that's what the movie's about. Turns out the book is about the Algerian war for independence.

I kept asking around about the movie and I was told that maybe it would be on TV or maybe I'd just have to buy a copy and watch it at home. Finally, the English-language newspaper published an article that said the movie would show at a theater in Sulemania... as soon as they could find one with quality equipment.

I thought that just meant never.

But, Friday, I saw an ad on PUK TV saying that the movie would play for three nights on that channel. I copied down the dates and the time and told everybody in the office (we were all excited to see it), but I found out later I was wrong.

The movie wasn't going to be on TV; it was going to show at a local theater (an actual theater, not a movie theater) and it would show for three days. We decided to try for the opening night, but we got a call just as we were headed to the theater telling us that it was VIP only and no one could get in. The best we could do would be to get tickets for the next night.

We were already almost in the car so we decided to head to the theater and try to get tickets as soon as we could.

Todd came with us managed to get himself inside the theater while we waited outside watching SUVs pull up and armed guards pop out to protect the Very Important Guests. Before long, Todd came outside and waved us in. He hadn't gotten us tickets for the next night, he had managed to get us admitted to the premiere. He told someone he had American guests and that it would be a shame if we couldn't get inside. The man inside agreed so we got in and got seats and saw our first movie premiere.

More importantly, though, Jalal Talabani's wife was there, Hero. She is Ibrahim Ahmed's daughter. After the movie we got our picture taken with her - again thanks to Todd who schmoozed one of the actors to get us in a picture with the First Lady.

So, I am now closer than ever to my dream of meeting the man himself, Mam Jalal!

Lighter Fare

Ok, so I decided to post a much less heavy post today.

To the left you see a bunch of junk for sale on a cart. You can't see the cart, but it looks like you'd expect. It's flat with three wheels underneath and two handles for pushing.

Men will push these all over town filled with goods for sale: candy, vegetables, shoes, dishes. It's called an arabanna.

Do you know the difference between an arabanna and an Arab?

An arabanna wears the tire underneath and an Arab wears it on his head...

Ah, Kurdish jokes...

Do you know the difference between a traffic cop and ice cream?

Ice cream runs when it's hot.

Racism

I know nothing about racism.

Today, I listened to D-Dog, our cook, relate the story of her recent trip to Baghdad to Janie. I heard her say that all of the Arabs are dirty and that she feared for her life the whole time she was there. Janie tried to assure her that, in fact, all the Arabs are not dirty.

But what does Janie know? Like me, Janie grew up learning about pluralism and stereotyping, so we know that there's no possible way that ever member of any group can possibly fit all the stereotypes associated with the group; all Arabs can't possibly be terrorist. The facts back us up on this point.

But how much do the facts matter if you are targeted for murder or worse just because you're Kurdish? How would I feel if I went to Baghdad? And I were Kurdish? And old? And had no choice but to go to the center of Hell just to take my mother to the hospital?

Northern Iraq is being flooded with Arab refugees. The Kurds are very hospitable, but behind closed doors they whisper about the Arabs. They distrust them and warn us to avoid them lest we be kidnapped by one of them. Kurdish television runs heart-wrenching PSAs reminding us all of the situation of the Arabs in the south and compelling us to be accepting of them as they flee the violence.

But these are the people that have been murdering the Kurds for hundreds of years. These are the people who burned down Kurdish villages and forced the Kurds into the mountains. These are the people that murdered 5000 people in a single day in Halabja. These are the people that have always treated the Kurds like second-class citizens belittling them and strangling their economy. These are the people that have laid waste to Baghdad and Mosul and Kirkuk. These are the people that packed a truck bomb under blocks of ice to ensure that their bomb infused with nails didn't explode into the sky, but rather killed as many Kurds as possible last month. These are the people that killed almost 100 people in Kirkuk just a few days ago.

And now, here they are. Living among the Kurds, looking for jobs, relying on the Kurds for their future.

No, it's not the same people. Of course, I know that. I know the difference between Arabs and insurgents. But I also know that if a bomb ever explodes in my city, if hundreds of Kurds die, it won't be from a Kurdish bomber. It'll be an Arab.

But, even knowing that, I am uncomfortable when the Kurds point to an Arab and whisper “Pise.” I shake my head and say, no, they're not dirty. When a certain friend rails against the Arabs and the Muslims, I remind him that Jesus tells us to love our enemies.

Today, I heard that tattoos are all the rage in Baghdad and Kirkuk. It seemed like a very un-Muslim thing to do, so I was surprised and I started to make a joke about it, but then Cory told the rest of the story. It's so families can identify bodies.

People are getting tattoos so their mothers can find their bodies after a suicide bomb attack.

And still they must forgive.

I know nothing about forgiveness, either.

Fourth Meal

So, I read today that Burger King is staying open later. You can read it too. Here.

Now, I'm not a huge fan of the Burger King - just that genius chicken fries commercial. The important part of the story is that "Fourth Meal" is apparently a real industry term. I thought it was just something that Taco Bell made up. I was wrong.

"Fourth Meal" is a meal eaten after dinner. It's not the same as a do-over meal, although they are similar. This is for the hearty eater unsatisfied with 3 meals and between-meal snacks and it's eaten after 10 pm.

Kurdistan doesn't have anything like this really. Except that they eat dinner really late, so sometimes you eat fruit and drink tea after 10 pm, but it can't count as fourth meal because it's attached to the third meal.

I find myself only eating second meal most days because I get up too late for the first one and I'm too lazy to make the third one myself. I think this is why it's so important for Kurds to get married; so no one goes hungry.

Did you know that White Castle was the first fast-food restaurant to stay open 24 hours? Well, you do now. The article is fairly interesting and it warns us that KFC may soon join the late-night fray, so watch out.

Important Lessons

Today I learned some very important things about Kurdish culture

1. Cures for Jaundice:

   a. If it is a man, he should sit in a room with other men and they will talk. At some point a woman will come in and sit and talk with the man who has jaundice. She will slap him.

   b. If it is a child, he or she should eat small live fish. These fish will swim around in the stomach for a while and the child will be cured.

   c. You can also just take the child to look at some fish. If he or she throws coins at the fish, all the better.

2. Apparently women cannot be cured of jaundice. Sorry, ladies.

3. This story passes for humor:

   There were two couple, one was a young man and woman in a village and the other was a young man and woman in a village. The two in the city met at a local park. When the man arrived, the woman said, “Why didn't you bring me flowers?” The man replied,”You are a flower. What do you need with flowers?”

   The village couple met in the village and the woman said, “Oh, my shoe is broken why didn't you bring me new shoes?” The man replied, “You are shoes. What do you need with shoes?”

Friday the 13th

Yesterday was pretty awesome.

A friend - let's call him Harvey - invited all of us to go on a picnic with him to his family's village just outside of town.

When he arrived at the office to take us, he said that we could go swimming if we liked. We all said yes because it's about 75 degrees Celsius here and off we went expecting to swim in a shallow river or mud puddle of some kind. But, Harvey took us to a REAL swimming pool.

His uncles built a a real concrete (of course) above-ground pool in the middle of their plot of farm land and filled it up just for us, so the water was extra cold and delightful. It was great! I don't have any pictures, yet, but I will try to get some from the others, so you can see what I'm talking about.