Funny to a Few

I got the above from a friend in Iraq. He says:

"you know electricity is terrible now we only have it 6 hrs a day since we don't have enough electricity we have a new Iraqi flag here it is you can see it...."

6 Hours of electricity!?! That's like slow torture. Imagine if you only had electricity for six hours. It's not fun.

Angie, imagine planning the wedding on 6 hours of electricity...

Important Directions:

Rehearsal Dinner
Minelli's:
1189 N.Wilson Rd
Columbus, OH 43204

I-70 to Wilson Rd.
North on Wilson
Minnelli's is on the left.
If you get to Trabue,you've gone too far

Wedding Ceremony
Trinity UMC:
8530 Lilly Chapel-Georgesville Rd
London, OH 43140

I-270 to Georgesville Rd.
South on Georgesville to Norton.
Left on Norton Rd.
Turn right onto Bausch.
Bear left onto Alkire Rd
Bear right onto Lilly Chapel-Georgesville Rd
Reception
Grove City Vineyard
3005 Holt Rd.
Grove City, OH 43228

(General)
I-270 to Georgesville Rd.
South on Georgesville to 1st light.
Left on Holt Rd.
Church is on the right at the corner of Big Run

Another Open Letter

I just returned from Shepherds and I will have much to write about, but this first.

Before I begin this letter, I must remind everyone that I wrote the original open letter (the one to my mother). It wasn't Angie and her letter to her intestinal malady. Just FYI.

Dear Alcohol,

How's it going? I have some bad news for you: you will not be allowed at my wedding.

You know we've never really been friends, but that's not why you'll be absent. It's just that you are forbidden. Verboten. Eyba. Sorry.

We've come a long way in our relationship, though. Remember when I thought you were evil? Yeah, me too. Those were funny times. I have to admit that I still blame you a little for the demise of Native American culture. I know, I know. You didn't act alone and it wasn't your idea, but that doesn't excuse your behavior. I know that mostly it was peer pressure, though.

I know we'll never be more than passing acquaintances you and I, but I wanted to send you an invitation, I really did. I thought you would have had a good time.

Unfortunately, my church said no. You must have made a bad impression on someone recently. I remember certain sermons which seemed to suggest that we, as Christians, were free to be your friend. I mean no one was suggesting a co-dependent relationship with you, but I thought you were acceptable. Turns out I was mistaken. I must have misheard something along the way.

I even thought you were appropriate at wedding receptions. But then I recalled that Jesus turned you into water at a wedding feast to save everyone from your bad influence.

Wait a second. That's not right at all is it? No. Jesus turned water into YOU. Hmmm. That's odd, Alcohol. The church has either forgotten our Savior's first miracle or decided to ignore it. I hope it's that they've forgotten it.

But maybe it's because you sometimes make stains. Carpet is expensive to clean and or replace. And I don't see Jesus turning anything into carpet.

Knowing you like I do, Alcohol, I bet you're laughing at this. Imagine me defending you. I never thought I'd be in this position! I just hope there aren't any hard feelings.

Keep on truckin'

Sincerely,

Robert

Worship

I have been struggling with the notion of "church" lately and specifically my relationship with it. I won't go into that now, but I have been reading a book written by the pastor of The Church Under the Bridge in Waco, TX. In the book, the author brings to light the things I've been thinking about since I went to Iraq.

I read the following quote yesterday and I wanted to share it here. It goes along, I think, with what my small group discussed Wednesday night (and Thursday night, and what Rob said on Thursday and Carol today...)

Servanthood is basic to understanding Christianity. When we surrender to the lordship of Jesus Christ, we choose to become a duolos (servant), willing to do His bidding. In fact, the biblical word for worship, means to "kiss the ring" of the king with unfettered allegiance to him. Rightly understood, obedience to God is worship

-Trolls & Truth: 14 Realities About Today's Church That We Don't Want to See

I have felt a certain emptiness from "church services" lately and I think it's based on the fact that on Sundays "service" is always passive, but I won't offer any analysis here. That's up to you.

Watchin' the Kids

Today is day 4 of watching Vanessa's children. They've been pretty good today. We took a walk and played outside and took long naps...

Now we're at Angie's visiting and Angie is trying to make Hannah drink straight lemon juice. I don't know why Angie's so mean, but now Hannah's pretending to like the lemon juice. I don't know who's crazier...

Wedding plans are falling into place. We have a church and a pastor and wedding clothes and people who love us to attend the ceremony. And invitations and everything.

We're still working on the reception. I mean, the wedding ceremony is the important part and it's totally ready to go. But we're trying to put together a party for the 125 or so of you who have RSVPed already. Even if we end up at the Moose Lodge eating gummy bears and drinking water from dixie cups, you know we always have a good time.

Ain't no party like a westside party cause a westside party don't stop.

Chicken Fries Commercial

I have been trying to explain this commercial for weeks now. I finally found it. So, here ya go!

Of Kurdish Superstars and Pie...

I spent the last couple of days in sunny southern California helping the next team to Iraq learn Kurdish.

Which makes sense given my superior fluency with zimani kurdi...

I got to visit the family I lived with last December. It was pretty sweet. The first night we went to a fundraiser where Kurdish singing sensation Chopi performed. I did not get to meet her.

I spent the next two days between training and visiting all the while being surrounded by Chopi rumors. On Monday night she was to come to Nancy's house to say good-bye. I tried to mill around long enough to meet her, but she never showed.

Or so I thought. She showed up 20 minutes after I left!! I did not get to meet her. Again.

But that night we did go buy pie for Nancy's son, Tad. Tad loves pie. Pumpkin pie, sweet potato pie, apple pie, pecan pie, banana cream pie. He loves pie.

Well, they went to the store and came back with no-sugar-added apple pie. As he got back in the car, he showed it to me and said "Tryin' to watch the old waistline."

He also said the following earlier in the evening:

"I never drink anything yellow. There was this guy who bought a Mountain Dew once. You can guess what happened next."

Honestly? I had no idea what happened next. I laughed and told him so. He laughed and then told me that he didn't eat or drink yellow foods because they could be pee and he wouldn't know. I imagine that was the point of the Mountain Dew story, but with Tad you can never tell.

I hear Chopy's coming back to California for a big Kurdish New Year's celebration. Maybe I can meet her then.

Joan in da House

I don't know at what point Joan ceases to be Joan and becomes her real self again. Maybe she'll never be that other person again.

Regardless of what you call her, she's here in town now. We had a little get-together for her last night. It was pretty fun. I even made Kurdish food. (Doris, I did a pretty good job, but I needed more salt. I may be ready to step up to something harder now.)

I am traveling to Phoenix tomorrow for "debrief" whatever that means. Then I will go to San Diego to help with training. Along the way, I'll get to visit Lucy - the person, not the dog.

Wedding plans are coming along. E-invites have been sent out to people for whom we had e-mail addresses. Paper invites are probably going out later this week.

All in all, not to bad for someone with no job and no money!

Why, Exactly, Are There Snakes on This Plane?

This morning from 11:00 am to approximately 12:59 pm, I was a part of the year's most exciting- and aptly named- motion picture experience.

That's right. Snakes on a Plane.

I give it 4 and a half out of 5 stars.

Too Slow

Angie beat me to the punch on two posts: the church and the van, but I'll post anyway.

First: The van.

Angie is now the proud owner of a 1991 Plymouth Voyager minivan. If you've ever seen Brandy's van, then you know what I'm talking about. Only it's maroon.

It's nice to have wheels again, and it's always nice to get a free car.

Second: The Church.

We have an official wedding site! Isn't that great. This is a picture of the church.

See Angie's blog for more exciting details on both the van and the church.