You Can Publish from WORD!

I’ve been thinking of keeping a list here of the books I’m reading. I read a lot of things that I enjoy but then forget. This might be a good way to keep track.

But, if I’m honest, I know that this list will likely last about a week and then I’ll stop. If that’s the case we can all pretend that this little experiment never happened.

Ok, so right now I’m reading the following:

Principles of Global Security by John D. Steinbruner
It’s a look at post-Cold War international security issues and the role of the U.S. I’m only on page 10, so I’ll have to get back to you on this one.

They Poured Fire on us From the Sky by Benson Deng, Alephonsion Deng and Benjamin Ajak
These are true stories of three Lost Boys from Sudan. I haven’t gotten to the tragedy yet, but the book seems to be very interesting.

The Qur’an: A Modern English Version
Or, as I like to call it, the NIV Qur’an. I have to be honest; this one is not an easy read. I have no idea what’s going on. I’m thinking maybe next time I’ll check out The Qur’an for Dummies. I thought that by reading it I’d gain understanding of Islam, but not so much.

Wo Bist Du? by Marc Levy
Yes, I am still reading this. It’s about a woman who travels to Honduras to do humanitarian work while her boyfriend goes to New York to study architecture. They’re French and the book is written in German.  It’s about how they both change in the absence of the other. Or at least I think it is. It just serves to drive home the point that I’ve allowed my German vocabulary to atrophy.

What the...?

So it’s official: Everyone on the planet now has a blog.

My mother has a blog. Can you believe it? You can check it out here.

Looks like a rant...

I've been thinking lately about how quick we often are to judge others. Maybe it's a heightened sense of awareness that comes when facing a "crisis" situation. I know from experience that when something serious happens people are most critical of others and especially their responses to the situation.

The first time I really remember being confronted with this was when my father died. I had no idea how one was "supposed" to respond to that. I looked around at my family and found that everyone responded differently. Some where devastated. And I mean this literally. Their lives ended the day his did.

I faced it the way I've come to face most serious issues in my life. I played the role of the stoic. I didn't cry much in public and I "moved on." I know what people think of that. Some find it callous and wonder how I could do it so easily. There's nothing easy about it, but it is a decision that I made and one that I don't regret.

Now, facing Angie's mysterious seizures and mom's breast cancer, I have acted in a similar manner. And I know that my actions and outward shows (or lack there of) of emotion have been questioned. As if I should break down at the hint of trouble or put on some show to prove my love and devotion. For the record, that won't happen. And, more importantly, I don't feel bad about it.

I know what loss is and I know how painful it can be, but I refuse to spend time pre-worrying about it. Honestly, I don't have the strength for that.

I can only pray that Mom and Angie both will be ok. I'll put it in God's hands and I'll be emotionally stable for them both so that they don't always have to be.

Who Needs Brains When You Have These?

Now that I have a title that she will appreciate...

I've avoided this post for about a week. Mostly because Mom reads this and she doesn't want to make big deal, but...

Last Thursday, my Mom, Tammy, was diagnosed with breast cancer. Since then she's been through a whirlwind of doctors visits and terrible news.

And, yes, I know everyone reading this knows someone who has successfully beaten breast cancer. My grandma Kay (pictured with Mom) is a cancer survivor. But, here's the deal: I don't care. Not today. Today it's my mom who has cancer; not yours. Today I get to be scared and irritable and sad and angry and I even get to keep it all bottled up inside and say "fine" when you ask me how I am.

My mom and I are very similar. She said the other day that it seems like breast cancer has become the common cold - everyone's had it. Although she hasn't said it, I think that in everyone's quest to make her feel better they've tried to minimize her fear and in doing so they've implied that she shouldn't be scared. Can you imagine being told one day that a part of your body was going to be surgically removed? And not just any part of the body, not like a toe or your pancreas.

I can't even begin to imagine how she feels, I only know that she doesn't want to cry, so, if you see her, don't make her. It's the least you can do.

My Utmost...

I'm not a big fan of Oswald Chambers, but yesterday I read the following in his My Utmost for His Highest.

"We forget that the one great reason underneath all missionary enterprises is not first the elevation of the people, nor the education of the people, nor their needs; but first and foremost the command of Jesus Christ - 'Therefore go and make disciples of all nations.'"

As Promised...

So, last time I promised a picture of Angie. Here it is. (I should note that this photo was taken by my 5 year-old niece, Hannah)

She's spent the last 5 days being driven around town as she is unable to drive herself for two whole months. I think she hates it.

Also, her mother has been in town since Friday night. She leaves tomorrow. She's a great lady and I'm glad I got to meet her before I leave.

That's the big news from the weekend, I guess.

Something About Angie

Ok, so most of you who read this blog know who Angie is, but, theoretically speaking, there may be some people who are reading this who do not.

Angie is my girlfriend of about 6 months now. She's the High School Youth Group leader at the Vineyard in Grove City. Her official title includes assimilation and other churchy words, but her heart and ministry is for high schooler. Why? I'm not sure. With the exception of Kate, I avoid high schoolers like the plague. As most people do.

Anyway, the point of this story is that she had a pretty serious seizure yesterday at work and was in the emergency room for a few hours. After blood tests and a CT scan she was released and referred to a neurologist for more test, etc. Until she's cleared by the neurologist, she can't drive and she shouldn't be left alone in case she has another seizure. For the record, she has no history of seizures or any major medical problems.

She's doing well, but keep her in your prayers.

I guess that's all for now. I don't have a picture of Angie on this computer, so, instead, I've posted a picture of my mom punching a close family friend for your enjoyment. I will post a picture of Angie soon, but you can also check out her blog (for pictures and seizure stories). The link is on the right.

One week on...

So, it's been almost a week since I got the dates of my departure. I have to admit that my sleep time has suffered a little. I feel anxious and excited and nervous and happy and scared. All in all, I'm a little freaked out. I mean this is a big change! For a long time all I had was ambiguity which was frustrating, but I didn't really have to think about the reality of leaving. Now, I have actual dates!

Don't get me wrong. I'm not second-guessing the decision to go. Not in the least. I still believe that God called me to this, so I'm not afraid of what will happen to me. But, let's face it, this is 6-12 months in a foreign country where they don't speak English. Oh, and there's a war.

Like I said before, I'm not afraid for my safety - I trust God for that. I've just never lived anywhere like this before. I lived in London for two months, but they all spoke English, so this is kind of a big deal.

Anyway, keep praying and enjoy the photo of Queen Victoria in front of St. Paul's.

Also, if you're reading this, keep it up. And write comments. Lots of comments.

Twice in One Day?

I know it's unusual for me to post twice a week, let alone twice a day, but I actually have news!

I have official dates:

Nov 25th - Arrive in San Diego, CA area for training

Dec 22nd - Finish in CA and go back home for Christmas.

Jan 2nd - Reconvene in Phoenix, AZ area for training

Jan 5th - Leave AZ for Houston, TX area for additional training

Jan 13th - Leave TX for IQ!!!!!

Jan 16th (or so) - Arrive in IQ

Keep praying!

Judas

So. I read a book this week which gave a brief bio of each of the disciples. As I read, I tried to decide which one I was most like. Could it be John? No. Could it be Peter? No. Maybe Thomas. That seemed pretty close, but I know I wouldn't be the one asking questions. I don't really do that.

Then I read the chapter on Judas. The author (and I'm sure many other scholars) theorizes that Judas may have betrayed Jesus because he was impatient. Judas not Jesus. Hmmm...I can relate to impatience. Also, the author reminds the reader that Judas was present for he miracles just like the other 11 and he was called by Jesus specifically. Just like the others. Additionally, the others seemed to trust him. He was the groups "treasurer" even. Also, I notice that, at the last supper, Jesus even tells Peter that Judas will betray him, but it seems that not even Peter believes that Judas would be the one. Certainly Peter would have tried to stop him, right? But he didn't.

The author goes on to say that Judas didn't know that the authorities would kill Jesus. He thought that by turning Jesus over, he could help move things along. He could give Jesus a little push into establishing God's kingdom on earth.

So, let's recap. He's impatient for God to act and wants to push things along with his own power without a clear understanding of the consequences. Also, and even more important, he's a good disciple.

I don't think I would have read the book had I known that my personality would be most like Judas'...

I guess the question then is what would Judas do if he were supposed to go to Iraq, but then had to wait six months? I need to figure that out and then do the opposite, I think.